AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GOOD CAPTAIN

The following was written in response to the Sci-Fi Channel’s decision to remove a line of dialogue from their re-airing of an episode of the British television series “Doctor Who,” apparently on the grounds that the line in question made reference to a male character’s unrequited romantic feelings for another male character, and so is obviously offensive and must be censored …

To Captain Jack Harkness, ex-Time Agent and former RAF volunteer, current head of Torchwood in Cardiff:

Sir:

We, the undersigned, would like to take this opportunity to offer our apologies for the blatant destruction of character undertaken by our cable channel, Sci-Fi, in its recent airing of the “Doctor Who” episode “The Sound of Drums,” in regards to you, Captain Jack Harkness, the violated character in question. It has been brought to our attention by less ignorant viewers that a pivotal and character-enriching line of yours — e.g., your response to medical student Martha Jones after the Doctor’s line of, “Oh, I know! It’s like when you fancy someone, and they don’t even know you exist!” — was edited out of the American Sci-Fi Channel’s premiere of said episode. While we also acknowledge that other small cuts were apparently made to the episode for purposes of time (i.e., purposes of cramming in even more than fifteen minutes worth of commercials), it stands to reason that the cut of this line of yours in particular — which numbered only three words — given the relative split-secondness of its delivery, must have been removed for more insidious purposes.

Upon reviewing the situation, we are forced to conclude that your line to Ms. Jones — “You too, huh?” — was removed for its _content_, as it gives the implication that your affection and friendship for the Doctor go beyond the platonic (as they do). Despite the fact that these short and simple words, upon deeper inspection, sum up and enrich your character’s relationship with the Doctor, giving us a piece of information that is vitally important to both the “Doctor Who” series and your own spin-off “Torchwood,” and also serve to greatly enrich and deepen the portrayal of your character and the personal history you have gone through; and despite the further fact that the “innocent children” (or whoever the hell it is that the Sci-Fi Channel expected to be emotionally damaged by the piece of dialogue in question) would not have particularly grasped the implications of such a line; and despite the further-further fact that this line cannot be said to show you as a homosexual or bisexual character anyway, because you are neither, as you come from a place and time in which such catagories no longer exist in the first place … despite these inarguable facts, our American cable channel apparently found it necessary to remove those three small words before airing this episode of “Who” in its “family-friendly” time slot, as if there is anything that is not family-friendly about a man remarking upon the deep but unreturned love he has for another person, and as if there is anything family-friendly about the removal and destruction of such a line. It is a short line, true, the real significance of which may not be immediately apparent until examined more closely, and the richness of character is revealed in it … but it is the quickness of its delivery and shortness of phrase that makes its removal from the episode so, yes, insidious.

Captain, in the short time that’s passed since we were introduced to your character, thousands, if not millions, of people worldwide have come to love you for your humor, your tragedy, and the courage of your character. Your combined Trickster/Hero archetype is one we can both adore and admire, a character we can laugh with and weep with; and your refusal to give up or admit defeat even in the face of your tragedies, or lose your humor even in the darkest of moments, is an inspirational example of your ever-existing (to quote another Captain Jack) bizarre optimism in even the most dire of circumstances. Like all the best fictional characters, you don’t merely entertain us — you inspire us, teaching us to be better people, just as the man you love does … even if the censors don’t allow us to say something like that.

Fictional you may be, but the truths you stand for are anything but. And it’s for that reason that you deserved better than what you got in this country during our premiere of “The Sound of Drums” last night. Your character was censored — that is to say, portrayed as a lie — and, given what you and the two series you appear on stand for, the American audiences watching deserved better than that. The fans deserved better than that. *You* deserved better than that. Because it’s not just the freedom to portray meaningful gay or bisexual characters and relationships in our entertainment that we’re losing, though that most assuredly was lost last night, too — but we’re also losing the portrayal of Truth itself.

So we’re sorry, Captain Jack. We are so sorry. We can only hope that you — and the world — doesn’t give up on us. Because sometimes, it’s not the aliens — it’s not the *outside* threats — that the world needs to be worried about. It’s what we’re doing to ourselves that should strike fear in our hearts, and make us wonder if those children hiding behind the sofa don’t have the right idea.

SIGNED,

Sensible Americans and Your Loyal Fans

P.S. While the Author has not personally viewed the Sci-Fi Channel airing(s) of “The Parting of the Ways,” we’re gonna take an educated guess and apologize for *that* one, too.